Time Has Flown
by Majorkami
Summary: 5 seasonish AU. Sandoval learns the identity if his son, but Liam is dead. RR, flames welcome!
1. "Liam was your son"

This fic is not for you if a) you think Agent Sandoval is a machine, or b) you can't stand death. Everyone else, enjoy and review, even if it's just to flame me (I like fire!). Constructive criticism is appreciated. Okay, here we go, and I DO NOT OWN EARTH: FINAL CONFLICT, so don't sue me.  
  
  
  
When Renee saw who it was on the doorstep, she started to slam the door.  
  
"Please," Sandoval managed to get out, "I didn't come here to cause any trouble."  
  
She opened the door just wide enough to stick her head out.  
  
" What do you want?"  
  
He took a breath. No turning back now.  
  
"I'm trying to find my son. I thought that you might know him, considering you were both in the resistance."  
  
Renee studied the former agent carefully. This normally proud man was vulnerable, and making no effort to hide it. She could read the pleading on his face. 'How do I tell him about Liam?'  
  
She opened her door. "Come in."  
  
  
  
A few minutes later both of them were seated in Renee's kitchen. The sink was full of suds. Apparently Sandoval had interrupted her while she was doing the dishes. They sat silently for a moment, Sandoval waiting and Renee pondering. Finally she spoke.  
  
"I don't know where to begin. He and I were good friends."  
  
"But you had a falling out?" Sandoval asked, but he dreaded that he already knew why Renee had used 'were'.  
  
She didn't answer the question.  
  
"Liam-"  
  
Her voice broke. She swallowed hard and continued.  
  
"Liam was your son, but he's dead now."  
  
Renee started to cry softly, not caring that Sandoval was sitting right across from her. Not that he was paying attention.  
  
'Oh my.' He remembered every insult, every slight he'd ever paid Liam as clearly as the days he'd said them. Sandoval had made his son's short life completely miserable. 'How could I. do that to him?'  
  
Sandoval's vision was blurred, but he didn't know why. He touched his eyes, and realized that his vision was obscured by tears. He was crying. After for struggling for what seemed like an eternity, he found his voice and said hoarsely, "Thank you, Ms. Palmer. You don't mind if I show myself out?"  
  
She was startled by his tone, by the pain she heard in it. The Sandoval she knew and hated had never seemed capable of that kind of emotion, but there he was, with honest-to-goodness tears in his eyes.  
  
"I'll show you out."  
  
When they were back on the doorstep, Sandoval silently turned to leave.  
  
"Wait." Renee blurted out.  
  
He turned to regard her, dark eyes hooded against their previous emotion.  
  
"If you want to talk about Liam sometime, I'll be around, okay?"  
  
A trace of sorrow flickered through those deep eyes, but all he said was, " Thank you."  
  
Then he left.  
  
'What am I doing?' Renee thought as she watched him disappear down the snowy street. 'Why on earth did I invite him back here?'  
  
She knew the answer. Despite the roll he played in the war- both wars- he was one of the few people who remembered what it was like. 


	2. They wanted a big family

He walked swiftly down the street, barely noticing the few individuals he passed. The cold night was devoid of sound, save the odd car and the sound of snow crunching under his each step.  
  
'Dede and I tried for so long.' A memory sprang forth, unbidden, of them talking about having children. She had wanted a boy, a dead ringer for his father. He wanted a girl every bit as beautiful as her mother. Their dreams were of a big family.  
  
But that wasn't to be. After numerous attempts and two miscarriages, Sandoval and Dede had still been childless.  
  
His footsteps were still the only sound. Crunch, crunch, crunch. It would take forever to get back to his apartment on foot, but he needed to walk. The stars were barely visible, due to the streetlights, even though it was a clear night.  
  
'Not a good place for star watching.'.like he had as a boy, with his father. Of course the beach near their house did not have streetlights to obscure the millions of ancient and mysterious, yet wondrously familiar silver pinpricks. He knew every constellation over the Caya islands, as his father had taught them to him. Sandoval would have done the same with his children. Another dream lost. That beach had been destroyed Zo'or along with the rest of his home, and as for his only child, Liam.  
  
He quickened his pace. 


	3. He had tortured a child...

Crunch, crunch, crunch.  
  
He still had a fair bit of distance to cover. But the memories would not let him be.  
  
A mysterious donor had dropped off two pints of blood to save Sandoval's life. The donor had to be a blood relative.  
  
"Agent Sandoval, you have a son." The doctor had told him. He had been both pleased and shocked. He was a father, it turned out, after trying so hard, but who was this boy? His son had to be rather young; otherwise his mother would have demanded child support years ago. His son's mother had no reason to hide him from his father until Sandoval had begun working for the Taelons. But for a child that young, donating blood would be dangerous! Then the doctor revealed something else.  
  
"You son's DNA has the most unusual structure."  
  
Liam had been a hybrid, then, conceived when Ha'gal had taken possession of Sandoval's body. That explained why he looked like an adult but was only a few years old. Sandoval would not knowingly torture a small child.  
  
He remembered Liam's screams quite clearly, despite the hybrid's attempts to stay silent. Sandoval had been relentless, ignoring Liam's pain in favour of the information he wanted.  
  
Now he was horrified. He had tortured a child --his own child-- with no more emotion than if he was made of lead.  
  
Crunch, crunch, crunch. 


	4. 'I let time fly...'

He was almost home. The cold air had numbed his hands and face, but could not numb the guilt and pain. He had hated Liam; he had resented him for not being implanted, for being spared that hell when he had not been; and for getting along so well with the Taelon he was protecting. Liam and Da'an had been friends, whereas Zo'or never treated Sandoval as anything other than a subordinate. Sandoval had wanted Liam dead, and Liam had known that.  
  
Another tear traced a hot trail down his frozen cheek. His son went to his death knowing that his own father hated him and wanted him dead. Nothing could end the torment of guilt, except.  
  
Sandoval opened the door to his apartment, knowing what he would do. He kept an old service revolver from his days in the FBI, a reminder of his former life. The one the CVI had taken from him. So many regrets. and he couldn't fix any of them. But there was one way to end the torment.  
  
He picked up the gun. It was as cool and hard as his heart had been when he'd tormented Liam. 'This will be over soon.'  
  
Practical as always, he aimed the revolver in the way it would do the most damage, putting the barrel in his mouth, angled toward the base of his skull. He hesitated for just a second.  
  
'I will never know him the way I should have,' he thought, 'I let time fly, and now it is gone, and so is my son.'  
  
He pulled the trigger. 


End file.
